Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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