hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
