Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize