we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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