i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i think i have herpe
just one?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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