you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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