it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
