I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize