yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do you still have your period?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
