What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
