he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
