How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
