try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
