i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
