barbara walters just said penis...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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