haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
