dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
