So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
What changed your mind?
Being sober
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
