Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
