Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
