dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There's always time for handjobs
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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