there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
