I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
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It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
