gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
