so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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