so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just had sex bonerless
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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