normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Enjoy the penises
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
