Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
