Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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