i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I want her autograph on my taint
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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