I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize