I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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