i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
