I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Small penises have feelings too.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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