K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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