remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I supernannyed him into submission
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
