the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
