2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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