Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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