He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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