I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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