He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
