he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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