i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
