Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I need to align my fucking chakras
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
