just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
