my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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