Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
