Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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