I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
