I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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