Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
