Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
