You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
