could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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