I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
