she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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