just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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