grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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