I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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