Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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