I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
