This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
