I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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