This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
