i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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