you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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