Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
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Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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