Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
